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Die Like This


Written by Vanessa Matic

I was full of sadness it was as if the whole sea inside me would inflict me in its drowning flames. I burned like a body at a cross, and I could feel the silence of the world; a reaper of illusions speak while I’m crying. Perhaps all things are unreal. Perhaps I am not even here; Dancing nostalgically amongst the petals of my broken heart shattered from decades ago, before I was born. I immerse myself in infinite intensity and the volume raises high and low, low and high. Our wank generation of instant coffee and sex. Addict. Screens that never die, charged on currencies of electrons that come off like disintegrated dreams. They can still not possess all of the hollowness that is between, between. I hope it is the electric death. We were the only lovers stranded like music on a moon full of blood your mouth a passion that kills me; a slow violence like a benzo-erotic sedative, your hands stronger than dreams I burn inside of their snake-like phantom limbs. A fixation; Love me till I do not know how to hate parts of myself I use to flee. You can break me now, I am ether and sound. Where I am blind each night opium, each dream a distant kiss I started to sew into the plate of my chest with golden string now I glow in its desire. I want to dance where no one knows me with your arms like flowers around mine, blooming, dying just the same. Remind me why I smile this way I never did before. A bedroom is a home. Once the night devoured me I still miss the fire inside of you it’s almost as angry as me, you said you’d kiss it forever if it makes me happy. I looked up away from your eyes that move inside of me like water swelling; I cannot breath. Snuffed under the synthetic sky that moves like dark matter above our hearts that sing like razorblades, my life in your veins. There’s still stars in the sky for the ones that love; let me eat all your fears, shadow all your tears. We lay down like two babies our heads next to one another speaking without words, this is the only truth I know. We will die like this, I fell desperately in love in a rage of a kiss. This is the only truth I know where you go I will follow.