Night Bird by Vanessa Matic

And it never fills this void; They all wish for
luxury but no one even keeps happiness nor
simplicity. A permanent high of sadness like
a vesper star dying in midnight sulfur. A night
bird you let sing in the winter till no longer it
sings.

What are dreams, but countless lovers we begin
to fade like song when the noise is too loud. I
scream I cannot hear anything. I am not even
here, we whisper love like a religion and believe
in nothing; slicked back dreamed silvers that
comb out your darker hair. Your eyes die with
all the deaths you brought upon yourself.

A breathless last kiss, the kind you give for mercy
like a goodbye you did not want which came in
disease. And everyone thought these gatherings
were something something, looking for glossy
girls, broken pieces, strangers we become in a
dance of night.

If I knew not myself I would’ve believed it was
simple to erase me. It is simple because we’re all
dead magic. Knucklebones that fill coldness till I
rush them with the flame of benzo-erotic pressure.
To push me till I become you, the you you were to
someone else. So I tear like metal guitar strings shiny
and priceless, you can put me on the wall one quake
I rattle, I fall, still dented I matter more you keep me
in your box made of perfumed blood.

There is never another moment such as this destruction
when I know the electricity is still inside the elastic of
your skin. As you will let the world burn you before
you ever believed in unbearable love for all our friends
say it’s silly but I laugh at their alcohol smiles, their
breaking lamp shades that flicker like fuck, the music
we play when we become closer is truth; You tell me
to believe in that and wipe it away for you are luster.
Fading in this chaos you belong to like everyone else.

I am unforeseen like strangeness it is what terrifies us
most, I leap without tension, I am almost a cat, I have
9 lives, I smell like rose, and filter your scars till you go
leaving me with all of them, dying with both of our deaths.
I belong to no one, the oceans are gone I do not go looking
I just carry on. Under the sky with starless cold I find a night
bird rotten to the bone.

Written by Vanessa Matic

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