Stir up the way
Coming up the elevator
I forgot what I was thinking
His tea cup is a snow man
His smile is a wave of some
Emotion I can’t rely on but
maybe it’s suppose to be
that way i hope i don’t sink
or maybe he will?.. in this face
shape pillow I hear music
in this room small lights
fill my heart like my head
I can’t sleep right now but
a week here i could learn
to sleep i want to take of
my scarf my stockings
dress and shoes i want to
dance in his room but he
won’t play me his music
he says did you see the
snow coming why don’t
you come by and watch
the snow snow us inside
if we get lucky tonight
tomorrow there’ll be high
snow to see to the 4th floor
of this Chelsea street
now my hair lys in his long arms
and in his long legs I pretzel mine
in in his gaze I see a sea trapped
behind a wild fire of uncertainty
of innocence of lust of love that

he denies is found in us yet i stay
here without a word to deny that
a feeling can collide and am I
obliged? I would never ask
that, I see dying flowers in his
heart I see things I hallucinate
I could touch him as much as
I could dare and I always wonder
how much that is? once I was angry
he messaged me somewhere from
San Francisco said he missed New
York City when I asked what about me?
He answered you are a big part of that
City ..when we met again I was tired
I remember and he would ask
me questions silly questions about
me.. I think he thought of things
as he was dreaming he asked me
if i was a princess he asked me if
I was into gentleman robberies
I think he said these things jokingly
wanting to know me I remember I
never said enough.. we made a plan
to go not home, but find a home in snow
covered plains and we’d make fires in
the fireplace i think he likes summer just
as good i want to take him to a beach
and leave him there where the tides
could roar at him and make him bare
I would watch him from a hill
do you think a person could die of happiness?
last time i saw him was on valentines day

text and images by Vanessa Matic

“Life is just a plot, I make it into a story.” Vanessa  Matic

It’s time to start all over again
and we cannot go back to the
Treptower gardens or the streets
Of rain in your white apartment
What’s kept today runs away
With love and love for tomorrow
We’re gone and it’s better now
Soft are your hands and body
that never graze me I wonder
Now what you could be thinking
but I rather not know and it’s ok
to go

I feel in poisoned ablution
I know nothing and wish
To be tempted by you
You say people behave
like animals you control
yours as much as you can
One touch bewildered you
Are struck and I am in your pleasure
Primitive I can
Sense your instinct
and the belly of the floor
is a running play ground
As we race thru the empty
Rooms while mattresses
spread like a canvas and
If you lye I can paint you
within this white cell

You say you were thinking of me
When you’re laying and you ask
Me if I was thinking of you I answered
What was true and you smiled so sweetly
Curious

As you lay
Next to me
Tossed in dreams
To kiss you
To miss you
is something I despise
to do away from you
I don’t remember
Where I have to be
and I don’t care for
Tomorrow either
I have no schedule
but I have no time
You can keep all
of mine if you can
Smile if you can
Wait a while
Stay inside
Walls of water
Dreamy in our eyes

You hold my hand
I hate to let go
You hold my hand
and when will you
Hold it again
Through this neighborhood park hide
and seek kisses is what I didn’t want to
Do better go home now better go home
Now and I better not see you again so I
Hope you feel it run from me and run to me
Run to me and find me as the night has gone
From soft warm to a fresh cool of spring
and my mind travels out and in twirling
Lifts me awake to feel you yet it’s better to
Go home now

text and image by Vanessa Matic