Mercury Retrograde by Vanessa Matic

Then you open your eyes and see it wilder. We’re afraid of loosing a mask, loosing sense or loosing each other. While we are just disconnecting from one another. It’s sometimes a piece of ourselves that we cannot keep anymore. Eventually, it will disappear in the past and that then it seems so far ago.. Too far ago for longing….

Now I know what you meant by a day is too long
A day passed in miss connection and I was full of
sadness

It was worse than before I could not throw it away
and then I thought I hope it’s like this till it numbs by
the days disconnected

And if ever I see you again I will say with only my eyes
to yours

I have loved you but I have forgot you as you forgot me
and maybe I will be with someone else..

Someone better than myself and we will look in silence
at our eyes disconnecting

I believe I lie and you are forever mine

The azure of the technicolor imminence diluted in the
cools of color forbidden to see I woke up from the longest
sleep

Expelled from my lingering and wanting I thought of you as
I gazed across the Hudson river no tears descend not anymore
I admire the ones whom are brave I do not remember if I am in
this moment

The teetering butterfly flutter of world is nothing but a playground
Fearless my soul roams and I think of you no more

For my numbness is ill and still

It’s advocated by the surroundings
I cannot shelter off from storm pastels
Set to my soul in avalanche black rainbows
Where I chased your hair and fingers

I was no longer myself I showed too much
I’ve done too much and then nothing at all
My humanity imperfect my immortality
brilliant, still in the calm of memoir tears

You’ve grown distant in disbelief
and so have I

Love is an illusion like the sun
Love is an illusion like night and
day I hoped you’d stay but the
moments are passing by

All colors made me happy now

Mercury retrograde passing thru my veins
A kiss of shattered opal freckles What is the
truth of disguise ”I love you” .. I do, I close my
eyes for I have not felt this feeling arise in many
many starry years

After all

There’s nothing to be afraid of, life’s like a star that has
died long ago

I swallowed from the marbled bowl of your sea eyes the
toll of broken brick roads

And was it me or was it you
I saw a great sadness in your eyes
for knowing what you’re searching for
is false

Imperfect
Angel

Do you remember me now?

Vanessa Matic