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The art of eye contact

  • July 4, 2019
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  • Eva Davidova
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Some days, when I’m feeling drained, I find myself withholding eye contact.
It’s unconscious—I don’t really mean to. It’s almost like I’m a little tortoise, hiding in my shell the entire day.
There is such latent energy in wordless communication, eye contact being the most potent. I love making eye contact, it’s such a powerful means of conveyance. It can say so much. It makes people feel important. It makes me feel connected. It’s like a bridge between two separate entities—myself and another person—that can make us feel as one for even just a brief moment.
Eye contact can be a wonderful gift to give and be given. It can be vulnerable, intense, intimate, healing. So much depth and possibility are present in this simple act.
It’s energy, shakti, that we share (transmit, if you will) when we give eye contact. A true opportunity to give and receive vitality, oftentimes with a perfect stranger. They say eyes are the ‘windows to the soul,’ after all, so isn’t it only natural to sometimes feel the need to conceal one’s eye contact?

We are starving for eye contact.
We are, in other terms, starving for profound, raw, real exposure to humanity. It’s not often that one stops a stranger on the street to tell them they have a great haircut, stunning eyes, a smart ensemble or are carrying a brilliant novel. It’s infrequent that one even voices intimate thoughts to a stranger. It could be misconstrued, unwelcome, awkward; so many possible outcomes.
We like to over think things. There could be so many awkward, weird ways if I put myself out on a limb and connect with this person, so I just won’t. We just ride the train or the bus or walk past the person who we find interesting, kind-faced, deeply human or quirky. We don’t feed our desire for contact.
I think it’s time we melt that ice. Speak the words. Make the eye contact. Pop our heads out from inside our tortoise shells. Dare to dance outside of our comfort zones. Just think of how much positive energy you could accumulate! Contemplate how many people you might warm with your unabashed, human sincerity. Just imagine how many people might move you, how your inner tortoise shell might be infused with light.

Words by Eva Davidova
Photo by Amanda Dalbjörn on Unsplash

 

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