text by Sumedha Jhawar
Photography by www.seanmarclee.com
10 things that pin me to my bed at 11 a.m:
1. the room i am in keeps telling me that it misses me.
2. i think i am losing my mind.
3. my mother once told me that i think too much. i keep thinking about how i shouldn’t.
4. i don’t think, i think that much at all. some days it’s just my brain telling me to stop, until all i can hear is its echo asking me to stop, stop, stop. i am scared to ask how.
5. how do you kill a person who isn’t even there?
6. when i was six my brother told me that he only hits me because he loves me so i keep grabbing blades to paint i love you’s on my wrist until it becomes kind of a self portrait. i don’t think i like it very much.
7. my phone lit up again.
8. i think i stared at that book on the nightstand for too long. how i couldn’t finish it yesterday or the day before or the day before that.
9. how much can you bury under pages until books become a kind of graveyard?
10. i feel like i need to sleep again.