“I’m learning to accept and appreciate the changes that come with getting older and with womanhood rather than constantly feeling like I need to correct them.”
Almost a decade ago, photographer Lenara Choudhury introduced us to Alex Lee-Aillon on C-Heads. Back then, we spoke with the young model about confidence, life in London, social media, sustainability and the things she loved most about her life.
Now, many years and many experiences later, Alex and Lenara found themselves together in London again — and the idea of revisiting that first conversation felt almost inevitable. You don’t often get such a wonderful opportunity — to meet someone again almost a decade later and see how life has shaped them. It’s beautiful to see how Alex has grown as a person, how reflective she has become, and how much clarity, warmth and self-awareness she carries with her today.
Today, Alex is based in Los Angeles, has built a life with her longtime partner Paris Brosnan, completed a degree in Nutritional Science and Dietetics, discovered new creative paths and, perhaps most importantly, grown into an even clearer sense of who she is.
So we returned to some of the questions we asked her back then, alongside a few new ones. A conversation about growing older, beauty, relationships, home, privacy and what changes — and what somehow stays with us.
Dear Alex, so nice to have you again on C-Heads! (smiles) We first spoke in 2018. When you look back at the person you were then, what do you immediately recognize — and what feels almost like another version of yourself?
Ah! Hello again. I’m so happy to be back. Wow, time sure has flown. It’s hard to believe almost a decade has passed. I think the things I immediately recognize in myself when I look back at the person I was then are my curiosity, independence, and ambition. Those parts of me have always been there and, if anything, have only grown stronger with time.
At the same time, I’ve grown so much and really molded into my own person. I think I know myself better now… what I value, what I want, and also what I’m willing to let go of.
In 2018 we asked you: What inspired you to be in front of a camera? You told us that being in front of one made you feel strong and confident. How would you answer that same question today?
I definitely feel more confident in front of a camera now, but I also think I’m less afraid to be vulnerable. Especially when I get the opportunity to do more creative shoots, I like being able to show a side of myself that I don’t often get to show on a regular work day, where everything can feel a little more done up or polished.
There’s something really freeing about stripping some of that away and allowing myself to be seen in a way that feels a little more raw and honest. I think as I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that confidence doesn’t always have to mean looking or feeling perfect.
You were scouted when you were only fifteen. After all these years working as a model, what do you wish that younger version of yourself had known about the industry?
For starters, you’re going to be told no—a lot. Don’t let yourself get caught up in the comparison game, and don’t change anything about yourself just to conform to whatever is considered acceptable or desirable at the time. Looking back, I think I’ve done a pretty good job of staying grounded and staying true to who I am.
That being said, we’re living in this crazy age of social media where everyone’s lives and careers are constantly visible to us, and it can be really easy to feel like you’re falling behind or that your journey should look like someone else’s. I’d tell my younger self not to let any of that define her own path. Everyone’s timing is different. Stay true to yourself, trust where you’re going, and do your thing.
“There’s something really special about looking around and realizing that the life you once imagined for yourself is, in many ways, the life you’re actually living.”
What has changed most in your life since we last spoke?
So much has changed! Shortly after living in London and New York, I moved to Los Angeles, and I’ve been here for a few years now, working consistently and keeping busy. At the same time, I graduated summa cum laude with a degree in Nutritional Science and Dietetics, which is something I’m incredibly proud of. I’m hoping to go back to school for my master’s in public health as well. Education has become really important to me, and I love knowing that there’s always more to learn.
I’ve also settled into my little life here in California with my boyfriend, Paris, and our two pups, Pueo and Arlo. We got Pueo during the pandemic and Arlo joined us last year. We travel quite a bit for work, and somewhere along the way I also discovered a love for classic cars. I got my first 1992 E30 convertible a couple of years ago… and we’re shipping something new and cool to California as we speak… (smiles) Paris and I share a particular appreciation for old BMWs, so discovering that I had this little passion for automobiles was a fun and unexpected addition to my life.
All in all, I think my life feels a little fuller and more grounded than it did back then. I’m grateful for the people I love, the work I get to do, and the life I’ve built. I really try not to take any of it for granted. Be good to yourself, be good to others.
Has the kind of work you are drawn to changed as you’ve grown older? What makes a shoot or a creative collaboration feel meaningful to you now?
I think now I’m really drawn to trying new things and seeing myself differently. I love the idea of shape-shifting in front of the camera and sometimes not even looking like myself. We live in a time where there’s so much pressure to look pretty or perfect all the time, and while I’m not saying I necessarily want to look ugly, (laughs) I do think there’s something interesting about not being afraid to explore the strange, imperfect, or unexpected in a photograph.
For me, a meaningful collaboration is one where everyone feels comfortable taking risks and creating something we haven’t necessarily seen before. I want to walk away from a shoot feeling like I discovered a different side of myself.
I’ve also started exploring acting, which has been another really exciting addition to my life. I think it comes from that same curiosity…the idea of stepping outside of myself, becoming someone else for a moment, and seeing where that takes me creatively.
Back then, we asked for three of your favourite places in London and you chose Hyde Park, Portobello Road and Shoreditch. What would your three places be today? And do any of the old ones still make the list?
I definitely still love a little stroll through Hyde Park, although there are so many beautiful little parks in London that it’s hard to pick just one. And I’m going to cheat because narrowing it down to three is nearly impossible now. (laughs)
These days, I love this very cute little chocolate shop on Brick Lane, the porridge at The Cadogan, a stroll down Pavilion Road, and seeing any new exhibitions at the Tate Modern or Saatchi Gallery. Portobello Road definitely still makes the list too… I’ll always have a soft spot for the flea market and wandering around to see what I can find.
I’m also obsessed with this little coffee shop, Studio Coffee, on Bedford Street. And on a beautiful summer day, give me a pint at The White Horse in Parsons Green and I’m very happy. So clearly I’ve failed at choosing three, but London just has too many little places that I love.
“Not every moment needs to be documented, and not every post needs to be an ad.”
More broadly, where does home feel like these days? Is home still connected to a particular city, or has your idea of it changed?
I think home is wherever my loved ones are. My family and the people I love are spread all over the world, so in a way, home exists in all these different little pockets for me. Home is in Paraguay, it’s in Montana, it’s in the UK, it’s in Kauai… (to name a few)…there are pieces of my life and people I love in all of these places.
My home base is definitely California. It’s where I’ve built my everyday life and where I come back to. But after spending so much of my life traveling and living in different places, I don’t think I associate home with just one city anymore.
I also love that sometimes a place I’m only visiting temporarily can start to feel like home. It can be a familiar street, a hotel room for a few weeks, or just being around people I love. I think home has become much less of a specific place for me and much more of a feeling…although I’m very lucky to have quite a few places around the world that give me that feeling.
In 2018 you admitted spending quite a lot of time on Instagram and said that social media could become increasingly defining — you even mentioned the Black Mirror episode “Nosedive.” Eight years later, how do you feel about that answer?
Honestly, I don’t think my answer has changed that much. If anything, I think it’s probably gotten worse. (laughs) I’ll always have a love-hate relationship with social media. I think it can be an amazing tool and create opportunities for people, especially in creative industries, but I also think we’ve become completely desensitized to sharing every aspect of our lives online.
Personally, I don’t care too much about the algorithm or engagement anymore. I post what I like, when I like. I think of my Instagram as half work and half public diary… just little glimpses into my life and things I find interesting. I never want to feel like a fish in a bowl where everyone can see everything I’m doing. There’s something really valuable about keeping parts of your life just for yourself. Privacy is important, especially now when social media can create these strange parasocial relationships where people feel like they know someone personally simply because they see so much of their life online.
I think more than anything, we could all take ourselves a little less seriously and be more present in our actual lives. Enjoy your life. Not every moment needs to be documented, and not every post needs to be an ad.
We also asked you something very simple back then: What do you love most about your life and why? What would your answer be today?
What do I love most? I love the stability I have in my life. I love the support, the people around me, my health, my dogs, and my team. I love the life I’ve built for myself.
I think when I was younger, I was always looking ahead to what was next…where I was going, what I was working toward, what I wanted to accomplish. I still have that ambition, but I’ve also learned to appreciate what’s right in front of me. There’s something really special about looking around and realizing that the life you once imagined for yourself is, in many ways, the life you’re actually living. I feel very grateful for that.
And another one we want to ask exactly as we did in 2018: What makes you sad?
Oh man, I don’t want to get all moody. (laughs) But honestly, I’m sad for the world sometimes. There’s so much inequality, so much misunderstanding, and so much pain that we inflict on one another and on this beautiful earth we call home.
I feel it particularly when I think about the country I was born in and how much hatred and division seem to have surfaced over the last few years. It makes me sad that it can feel increasingly difficult for people to see the humanity in one another, even when we disagree.
And honestly, AI makes me a little sad too… or maybe worried is the better word. There are incredible possibilities that come with it, but I also worry about what we could lose if we aren’t thoughtful about how we use it. Human connection, creativity, individuality—those things are precious to me. I hope we don’t get so caught up in what technology can do that we forget to value the things that make us human.
Your answer about sustainability in 2018 focused on things like recycling, food choices, public transport and cycling. With everything we know and talk about today, how would you answer the question “What can someone do every day to live more sustainably?” now?
I think my answer today would be that sustainability doesn’t have to mean completely changing your life overnight. It’s about becoming more conscious of what and how much you consume. Incorporate more plant-based or vegetarian days when you can, reduce food waste, compost, and recycle… not just paper, but glass and plastic where your local recycling system accepts them.
I also think it’s important to look at how much we consume in general. Upcycle, reuse what you already own, go paperless when possible, conserve energy, use public transportation, walk or bike when you can, and support brands that are genuinely making an effort to operate more sustainably.
And get involved in your community. Take part in a street or beach cleanup, help people who are less fortunate, or find a cause you care about and give your time to it. I don’t think any of us are going to live perfectly sustainable lives, but we can all be a little more thoughtful about how our everyday choices affect other people and the planet.
You also told us that if you weren’t modeling, you would probably be studying to become an environmentalist or working in marine biology. Is that still the alternative life you can imagine for yourself?
I think in a perfect world I still would have loved to pursue environmentalism or marine biology, but I also think I made the right choice in studying something that gives me the opportunity to directly help others. I’m a little queasy around blood and needles, so I knew pretty quickly that the more clinical side of healthcare probably wasn’t for me. Nutritional science felt like a much more natural fit.
To be honest, if I could do it all over again, I also think I would have loved to pursue a career working with children on the autism spectrum. My younger brother was diagnosed with ASD when he was little—he’s seven now—and I’ve watched him work with speech-language pathologists and other specialists. I’ve always found that world really interesting and admired the impact that kind of work can have.
Interestingly enough, it’s also one of the reasons I’ve considered continuing my education. I’d love to learn more about the relationship between nutrition, public health, and autism… what the research actually tells us, where there are still gaps in our understanding, and how we can better support autistic people and their families. I think that curiosity about health and helping people has always been there. I’ve just found different ways of exploring it as I’ve gotten older.
After spending so many years in an industry built around images, has your own idea of beauty changed?
Absolutely. I think I appreciate individuality and imperfections so much more now. There’s such an obsession with being slim, having perfect teeth, perfect skin, and somehow never looking like you’re aging. We’re surrounded by Botox, injectables, peptides, Ozempic, and even this idea of “iPhone face,” where everyone starts aspiring toward the same very specific version of beauty. And there’s no judgment from me toward anyone who chooses those things. Everyone should do whatever makes them feel good in their own body.
For myself, though, I always want to look like me. I’m okay with my big teeth and my chipped tooth. I’m okay if some days I look a little more tired than others. And honestly, I want to look like my mom and dad. I’m grateful for the features they gave me, and I don’t want to lose those parts of myself in an attempt to look like everybody else.
I’m learning to accept and appreciate the changes that come with getting older and with womanhood rather than constantly feeling like I need to correct them. After spending so many years in an industry centered around appearance, my definition of beauty has actually become much less about perfection. I find individuality so much more interesting.
I just want a body that is healthy and happy, and I’m incredibly grateful for my mental health too. There’s a lot of pressure out there! I’d rather spend my life feeling and looking like myself than chasing some constantly changing idea of what “perfect” is supposed to be.
A lot can change while you are building a career and sharing your life with other people. What have relationships — romantic, family or friendships — taught you about growing alongside someone without losing your own sense of self?
I think the biggest thing relationships have taught me is the importance of staying true to myself. I still need to have my own goals, my own ambitions, and my own path, while also supporting the people I love on theirs. I think the healthiest relationships—whether romantic, family, or friendships—give you the space to grow as an individual while still growing together.
I’ve also learned a lot about boundaries and knowing what you deserve from the people you allow into your life. I want to surround myself with people who uplift me, challenge me in a good way, and make me want to be a better version of myself. And I hope I can do the same for them.
In my long-term relationship, I really look at us as a unit and a partnership. We’re building something together, but we’re still two individual people with our own dreams and interests. We support each other’s ambitions and give each other room to pursue them. I think you can build a life with someone while still having a life that is very much your own too.
And finally, we have to repeat this one too: Any questions we should have asked you?
Hmm… what am I currently obsessed with? What’s the weirdest thing I’ve bought recently? What films have I watched lately that I can’t stop thinking about? What’s my current favorite pub? (smiles) And where do you think I’ll be the next time we do this interview—in another eight years? Hopefully we don’t wait that long. (laughs)
Although maybe I should stop giving you ideas because apparently you actually remember to ask them. (laughs)
Oh, we will. (laughs) And hopefully we won’t wait another eight years this time.
